“I KNOW MY PARENTS NEED A BREAK, BUT I NEED A BREAK, TOO.”
Just as parent caregivers feel unseen in our world, the siblings in a disability family often feel unseen. So much time, attention, and energy is directed towards the child overtly requiring so much care.
There is no way around this and yet, it is critical for parents to understand what siblings feel and need and experience.
Extreme caregiving takes its toll mentally, emotionally, and physically on parents. It also is an inescapable reality for siblings. No matter how intentional you are as a parent in tending to the needs of the sisters and brothers of the child with unique or extreme needs, there are still traumatic repercussions. We must acknowledge this. We must acknowledge their needs and their voices in the family. They need to be validated and assured that they also individually exist as the center of the family, that their experience and growth and place in the unit demands the same legitimacy that brings attention to their sibling. And without guilt. Without being taken for granted. Without the conditions that are involuntarily anointed on them in their role as lifetime contributor to the machinery that keeps the family unit ever functioning.
We must also acknowledge that there are beautiful repercussions as well: siblings develop patience, compassion, empathy, awareness of disability, awareness of rare disease, resilience, perseverance and strength of character.
While this may be true, let us pause for a moment and hear all about their needs and what siblings need to hear from you, their parents. For acknowledging this reality is a beginning. It can empower empathy through knowledge, and this can then provide opportunities to make changes, small and large, that can become enriching to them.
And that can be wonderfully enriching to all.
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PDF RESOURCE INCLUDES:
12 tips on what sacred siblings need from you, their parents!
Raw sentiments from siblings in a family experiencing disability or unique needs.
Various resources for the needs of siblings in a disability family.
