YOUR GOOD CANNOT BE CANCELLED

When something goes awry, or not as planned or feels like a bump in the road, it doesn’t cancel out the good that has already happened.

Anyone? Anyone hit a hard place and fall into thinking “it’s all gone to sh*t, etc.” It was never any good. What was I thinking?

Reframe this stat.

That bump might turn you around to a greater path.

That unexpected turn might be the thing to set it all ablaze in a good way!

That awry upside down moment that felt like a gut punch might be exactly what you needed to learn you are enough no matter what after a lifetime of believing a lie that said otherwise.

That turbulence might be there for you to see yourself walk through it and come out the other side stronger and wiser.

You are the same person you were before that turbulence came. It did not cancel out the good that came before it.

The good cannot be cancelled.

It just IS.

It is YOU.

I wrote this Instagram post last week.

As I sat down to write a blog post to share with you. I thought to myself, YOU, yes you, mom out there with a child or children who have needs way beyond what you thought were possible, you know better than anyone what turbulence feels like don’t you?

Perhaps 2020 even rolled in with a bang and it triggered a similar feeling of when the unexpected happened when you became a mother of a special needs child.

When there were days, weeks, years where you couldn’t see an end to the struggle or the exhaustion or the fear of “what will happen now?”

I see you.

Perhaps you more than anyone, have come to know turbulence in your life, as familiar as the sun rising in the morning.

I see you.

And perhaps you have had days, weeks, and years where you were angry, grieving and full of questions that had no answers.

But perhaps you also know and have moments of pure awakening, throw it all to the wind joy and broken open raw surrender that led to an aliveness you didn’t know was possible.

Perhaps you have experienced both in your world. I hope so. Because sadness and grief are not your home, even though you may be asked to visit them more often than you expected. Or more often than most.

What I have experienced is a broken dream is sometimes just a broken expectation. And when I can see clearly my expectation, I can let it go. And when I let it go, I have a whole new canvas to paint on.

I get to paint a picture that includes all of the emotions, the colors, the sounds, the textures and the feelings that pour through me, as I experience life. So does my child.

I no longer have to paint within the lines or keep my gaze on one part of the painting. My brush is free to roam and let it show me the majesty and the beauty waiting to be unleashed!

I think the struggle is when I try so hard to stay within the lines and try to make my child do the same. Those lines may look or sound like, going to a certain school, or acting a certain way, or having a certain number of friends, or being at grade level in school or you get the idea……..These are constructs we’ve been given that we sometimes unknowingly measure our ok’ness, our enoughness, our level of belonging. But when we step back and look at our lives and our child and the whole of what is possible, we can see, there are no lines, only the ones we believe are there.

Yes, you and I have the choice to paint the picture that is begging to be unleashed. And perhaps you and I are the wayshowers. We’ve tried to stay in the lines in our life, and we have a child who shows us daily, that won’t work here. hat is not an option.

So dear Mom, will you join me in releasing the lines, the expectations, the rules and let your brush flow across the canvas? There will still be sadness and grief there. Life will still have bumps and hard moments and days of pure exhaustion, but oh how it will also have so much more freedom and beauty and joy!

Scream out loud when you need to or scream in your pillow! Dance with abandon! Laugh so hard you cry and let your child see and feel this from you! You can have these moments and sit down in IEP meetings, change feeding tubes, advocate for therapy. There is no mold you need to be fitting into.

And remember…hard moments, tough situations, unbearable loss does not cancel out the good that has already happened. The GOOD that happens daily in your life. Although it may be harder to see on a tough day, it’s there.

The good cannot be cancelled.

It just IS.

It is YOU. It is your precious child. It is that small moment, that tiny breakthrough, that kiss, that smile, that color, that fresh canvas, that story you are allowing to come through your brush as you paint outside the lines.

Mindset Shifts & Practices to support you:

• All emotion is energy in motion. Let it move all the way through you! Like I mentioned, scream, dance, move, cry, spin, bounce, breathe! If you don’t process anger or grief or sadness, it will find a place to live in you and show up as extra weight (physical & emotional), illness, depression, anxiety and more.

• When you try a “next thing” to support your child, like a new school or a new therapist, practice holding it lightly, instead of tightly. View it as the next right step, the next stroke of paint on your canvas, not THE thing that will fix everything or save the day. This will save you from those expectations that can derail you and instead release you from attachment to a certain outcome. It allows you to zoom out and see the whole big beautiful canvas that is being created!

Your good, the good that you are, the good that you are creating and the good to come, for you and your child, cannot be cancelled or taken away.

All my love to you mama!

If you need further support or just want to connect with me, I would love to hear from you! You can find me here:
www.lauraleelife.com or on IG @lifewithlauralee