Be Like Jane

written by Jessica Patay

You know her.

She says YES to everyone. She is sweet, demure, humble, and gives her time to EVERYONE. She wants to. She likes the feeling of helping others. And she is darn good at it. She sacrifices her own happiness and her own needs and does not even realize it. She hides behind her generosity which seems so admirable. And yet it is killing her.

And then, one night, she cuts loose. She is free. She is silly-smiling.

Be like Jane.

Stay with me here. I do not mean that you should go and get drunk and dance on some bar with some cute guy. I am not advocating for escapes through alcohol and other mind-and-heart-numbing activities. I show this film clip because Katherine Heigl’s character, Jane, in 27 Dresses, FINALLY LETS LOOSE. She lets her guard down, her defenses down, she is silly, she is laughing, she is alive. Let’s not overanalyze it and over-think it friends.

What helps you cut loose and laugh? What makes you feel alive?

For me, it’s concerts out with my husband Chris, or my girlfriends. I did not go to one concert in 2017. BOO. (Oh, except a short one at a local bar with Missing Persons from the 80’s…but we won’t count that…) But 2018 will be different! Pink and U2 are on the docket!!

Just like Jane, how can you rebel against your buttoned-up, cardigan-wearing self??

Is that taking an art class even though you see yourself as a noncreative? Is it taking salsa lessons even though you are shy and uncomfortable in your body? Is it going to a Zumba class with your girlfriends in 80’s leotards and leg warmers?

Is it getting a tattoo? (Ahem.) Is it blasting music in the house and dancing (like Jane!) like nobody is watching in the midst of chores and mundane activities? Is it starting a fluffy book club/wine club in your neighborhood, and hosting it because you can never leave? Is it going tandem sky-diving? Hiking even though you are afraid of heights? Is it journaling? Is it going to local plays? Is it staying overnight in a hotel alone? Yes, alone, for 24 hours. (I did this once.)

What will you do FOR YOURSELF???? Mommy-Guilt-free. I said so.

Find a hobby. Go back to an old hobby.

Will it be getting up 10 minutes earlier than everyone else in your home, or staying up later than everyone else, and taking 10 deep breaths with your favorite-smelling candle from Home Goods?

Or how about a hot bath with your favorite bath salts? And a book? Or meditating or praying?

Where/how/who will you cut loose with this new year? What does that look like for you? Again, I mean for you to practice this in a safe, non-reckless way. Your family needs you to return home in one piece. They are depending on you tremendously. As you know.

What will you say yes to in 2018 that gives you a spark? What will you say NO to this year that diminishes your shine?

In 2018 BE LIKE JANE. Xo

(I want to hear about your ideas for 2018 in the comments. Go!)

*Artwork/image by Jill Gerbracht @socialbutterflydesigns